As I have mentioned in the “about this diary” page, this blog has been inspired, nay, made necessary by reading various threads in a board on the PCLinuxOS forum. My already complicated life has become even more so as an indirect result of one thread in particular ( Giant Camel Spiders in Iraq!!! ). I hope to find some relief from the tension and excitement by recounting my experiences here.

The latest experience arose from a thread suggesting techniques for creating computer annoyances ( Annoy your coworkers, Linux style ). As a keen student (and, indeed, instructor to the ignorant and unwilling) in matters pertaining to human psychology, I embarked on an experiment involving the production of random beeps and other unwelcome sounds by my computer. I intended simply to test the effects on myself, quite forgetting in my enthusiasm that I am currently a resident of a secure hospital ward.

(Note: the hospital itself is not secure but I am well pleased with the security arrangements pertaining to the ward, where, as I’ve indicated elsewhere, I reside purely because of my participation in a medical research programme.)

In very little time, I was surrounded by the other residents of the ward, both patients and staff. I was taken aback by the ferocity of the staff’s antagonism towards me but then, as a researcher, I probably have a more detached view of things than they do. The patients were also (unduly, I thought) aggressive but, to be fair, seemed more open-minded. I detected some fascination, curiosity, a willingness to learn and a perverse pleasure in the disruption unwittingly being caused (yet again) by yours truly.

To my alarm, a staff member ordered me to “turn that d*! thing off before I pull the plug”. I did think of explaining the possible adverse effects of either alternative when it occurred to me that she was not in a very receptive mood. Thinking quickly (as I’ve learnt to do), I said “I’ll switch off the sound.” “And shut it down” shouted another staff member. I deemed it prudent to comply even though I felt strangely compelled to continue my experiments, particularly in the light of the spectacular results.

During the ensuing negotiations (well, pride dictates that I describe the dialogue that way), I was required to ingest an unscheduled (additional) dose of some medication I’ve been testing as part of the research programme before being allowed to re-start my computer.

Computer privileges are most unusual in the ward and I attribute my fortunate position to my status as a research assistant. It may have something to do also with the reactions of both patients and staff to my participation in regular ward activities. The threat on this occasion of such privileges being removed added to the urgency of the need for compliance on my part.

I am somewhat flattered by the attention I receive in spite of the indignities to which I am subjected. I’m still perturbed by the tendency of the nursing staff to treat me as a patient but I’ve decided to humour them because they seem to become (more) agitated when I try to explain my position as a research assistant.

Certain positive results of the incident are

1. Proof that the Linux command line can be a useful tool when one is provided with clear, specific and unambiguous instructions, particularly when one is able to copy and paste the code required
2. Yet another example of the PCLinuxOS forum, as well as providing stimulating ideas and excitement, being extraordinarily helpful in technical matters
3. A demonstration, albeit unintentional, of the low tolerance of humans generally to random repetitions of meaningless and inharmonious noises.

I prefer to look on the bright side and maintain an optimistic outlook in spite of the difficulties that attend me.