I must admit to some experiences which are reminiscent of Walter Mitty. In other words, I believe some of my experiences are simply visualised rather than real events. Security measures are a source of confusion. Adopting pseudonyms, for example, I find quite confusing. Somehow, my real name and identity get lost in the morass. Sometimes, when I begin to shave I am surprised not to see my internet avatar looking back at me from the mirror.

I have discarded the use of a second avatar because I believe it was frightening my first avatar. I don’t know whether it’s my real persona or Walter Mitty which keeps getting me into trouble. I’ve recently had difficulties with one persona attempting to censor the other. At least, I suspect that’s what happened. In any event, I debated the issue in my usual double handed way before making exactly the wrong decision.

There have been quite a number of changes in the short period of my residence in the ward. Some definitely relate to myself. For example, a small room has been set aside for my computer (and bookcase) and there’s talk of soundproofing it. I try not to take other changes personally. The few things available as weapons on my arrival now seem to have been secured against use. Chairs have been chained together or to nearby furniture. Fire extinguishers still seem to be available but I have been warned against taking them into the bathroom or anywhere else. Or using them at all except in the case of a fire.

Other changes concern the staff here. Two of the nursing staff have told me that patient counselling services have now been made available to the staff and that I am responsible for the change. I don’t know how I was able to bring about that change. It certainly was never my intention. I must say the staff do not seem to be at all grateful.

One matter of concern was the rate of staff turnover. Evidently, general hospital staff are being co-opted now into “serving time” in this ward. A few troublemakers on the staff attempted to sheet home the responsibility for that to me as well. I assured them that I had not even been consulted about the change.

I seem to be working with more doctors now than initially. And they do seem more distracted. Some are self-medicating during our discussions and occasionally have to leave abruptly. After the last episode, a nurse arrived to administer another unscheduled dose and I was told that the doctor I was interviewing was now on sick leave.

The fiscal implications of the changes are quite worrying. I’ve been asked how I would feel about a “special isolation” ward for “special cases such as [mine].” I do wish they would remember that I’m not a patient here.